In Fifty Shades, Why Does Ana Like Some of Christian's
In the trilogy Fifty Shades, Christian Grey is an experienced Dominant who used to play 'games' with his submissives.
When he met Ana Steele, all that changed. He now longer wanted her to be a submissive, but when she discovered that some of the games that he used to play with the others were fun she wanted to know more.
Unfortunately for Ana one of the games that Christian played with her caused her to leave and another betrayed their trust when she used her Safe Word.
Why did Ana enjoy having her wrists tied but not being sexually teased by Christian?
In order to answer that question you need to understand a little more about BDSM than you likely do right now.
The acronym 'BDSM' cannot be read like the acronym 'SCUBA'. The latter stands for a single phrase (Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus), the former is a combination of three pairs of letters into a single four letter acronym. 'BD' stands for Bondage and Dominance, 'DS' stands for Discipline and Submission and 'SM' stands for Sadism and Masochism.
Let's look at each of these in reverse order.
Mention the phrase 'S&M' to someone and they think of deviant sexual behavior. The need to hurt someone or to be hurt in order to achieve sexual release seems to be cruel and unusual punishment.
While it is unusual it is almost certainly misunderstood. Without years of training and acclimation no couple should try S&M in their normal sexual activity.
This is what happened to Ana when Christian gave her six lashes with his belt. She left because she had no frame of reference for what he was doing, why he was doing it or how to deal with both the physical and emotional impact (no pun intended!) of the spanking.
With proper training and experience S&M can be added to a healthy sexual relationship. I suspect that this is far too advanced for where you are right now. It's safer to just avoid this part of BDSM for now.
Discipline and Submission can be a fantastic way to extend the sexual experience beyond the bedroom and to enhance the sexual act.
Again, this is a more advanced form of sex play than most people are ready for when they first start exploring BDSM. Tread carefully here.
When Ana is forced to submit to Christians will, she usually enjoys it, however, if his goals don't match her's the game becomes more difficult for her to play.
Ana used her safe word during one of these games, which betrayed Christians trust in her. He was doing exactly what he was supposed to be doing and she called the whole game off before he was finished.
As with S&M, Discipline and Submission can be a very erotic addition to your repertoire, but without proper training and experience the partner that is submitting can be overwhelmed.
Bondage and Dominance is exactly the type of sex play that Ana enjoys. This is usually the most 'tame' of the three parts of BDSM - although there are extreme 'riggers' that can make the bondage incredibly intense, challenging and rewarding.
For now let's call B&D an 'Exchange of Power' game. When couples play an exchange of power game, one of the couples surrenders control of the evening (or 'Scene') to the other partner. The person surrendering (the 'Bottom') trusts the other (the 'Top') with their safety and their sexual pleasure.
It becomes the Top's responsibility to run the scene and ensure that the Bottom has a fantastic sexual experience. Since Christian is a very experienced Top he does this with Ana every time and her release is complete and satisfying every time.
When you start playing with BDSM, go very slowly. Find an educator that knows how to teach you. Ask if they have a place for you to practice in private and then to ask questions after the Scene.
You may find that BDSM is a very spicy way to add excitement to your sex life, but as with anything spicy, too much may be a very bad thing!
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