'There is very little you can do to change the fact that you are single.' This is a thought that you have most likely had at some point. It is actually a very rational thought. When it comes to the world of kink we think it is even harder than the vanilla world. Most of us think that we are single because of our looks, the job we have, our lack of ability to tell a joke, or our lack of money in the bank. Actually it has nothing to do with these things at all. You are single because you choose to be!
Now wait a minute, doesn't that fly in the face of the first statement that I called rational. Well I said the thought was rational, I never said it was correct. Those are two very different things. If you want to get dates and have a relationship there are steps that you can take that are very simple and they will help you to reach your goal.
In order to be a potential kink partner you need to have value that can be shown to the other person. This doesn't need to be in your bank account. In fact if you do have money this can sometimes be a hindrance to your finding dates with people who truly care about you. You show value to a person by being the best you that you can be.
Each of us was given certain talents and traits that you can use. There are things that you can do better than anyone else that you know. Focus on these things and become really good at them. This isn't just you showing off, but rather it is you expressing value. You don't have to use your talents all the time, in fact the rarer something is the more valuable it is. Keep that in mind.
In order to be a potential D/s partner you need to think like a fisherman. Fishermen do not cast their nets in the same dead spot over and over all day long. They will try a particular area and if there are no fish they will move onto to a better area. If you find that you are not meeting any new and interesting people then you need to cast your nets elsewhere. Try joining a social group, take a class at the community college, try visiting a church, learn a hobby and attend events associated with that hobby. Learn how to cast your nets in places that are better suited for you finding a mate.
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